Monday, January 10, 2011

The Jerk

All these years I have been doing it wrong. I had two hands, two feet, ten fingers, ten toes... hell I even had an anus, a mouth, and a cock. How could I have known that I had never had an orgasm?

Fifty years old and my wife has the nerve to show me a filth magazine called 'Men's Health' and there on the front cover, a creamy white substance. They claimed that it came from from the bowels of a man and was forcefully ejected from his penis. To further their blasphemous claim they even included a photo of a member which appeared quite firm, from it long silk like ropes were being pissed out.

"BULLSHIT!" I mumbleyelled as I poured my wife's steaming hot tea into her delicate saucer.

Looking down at my flaccid cock I tried to imagine it growing larger and larger until it exploded webs of semen hanging down from the corners of our dining nook.

A shiver ran down my body. Hitting the glossy pages from my wife's porcelain hands I told her we were catholic and no where in the good book was their a mentioning of penises growing large. Let alone spinning webs of glistening cum!

Wife excited be my violent outburst stared into my eyes and three shudders ran through her bowed body before she transformed.

Breast expanding outwards and hips spreading out rowboat like she spread wide her arms and in a tone heard only in the dopest jungle beats she bellowed, "CUMMMMMMMM!!!"

Without prior knowledge my transformation was quite shocking. How was I a normal man to cope with my testicles growing into two fast breathing shnowzers.

And My Cock.

My penis veins grew. Swelling into fabulous shapes wrapped around a shaft as long as my former wife had been tall. My senses overwhelmed flowed to the head. My wonderfully tiny head atop such a grand shaft. My cock sucking all life from my body reached, 'the point.'

Exploding outward my body transformed into oceans of cum. My wife road my waves using her meter long hands as oars. Never have a womens hips been so hull-like.

How was I to know that I had never had an orgasm?

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