Make Your Own Penis

It is possible to make your own penis. An extra to keep handy in case of emergency. Follow these instructions:

Ingredients:
- Semen
- Arm & Hammer Baking Soda
- Ground Saffron
- Woman's Spit (Spit from a Woman)
- Tin Foil
- Dark, Damn Environment
- Empty glass of water

Directions:
1) Mold a sheet of tin foil into your desired penis size. You may use several sheets if necessary. Remember to pack the tin foil tight.

2) Masturbate to your favorite pornographic cassette. I suggest 'Love Gnome 6'.

3) When it comes (get it?) time to ejaculate, do so into an empty glass of water. Remeber, it is important that the water is empty.

4) Sprinkle saffron into glass of water of semen as fast as you can for ten seconds.

5) Sprinkle baking soda into glass of water of semen as fast as you can for eleven seconds.

6) Have a woman spit into the glass of water of semen and saffron and baking soda. It is important that she does this willingly, or else your penis will be ugly.

7) Bring tin foil mold and glass of water of semen and saffron and baking soda and woman's spit to a dark, damp environment. Place the tin foil mold on a surface, and then pour contents of glass of water of semen and saffron and baking soda and woman's spit onto the tin foil mold. It is okay if the tin foil mode is not covered completely by the contents of the glass of water of semen and saffron and baking soda and woman's spit, but do try to cover it as well as you can, for science.

8) After six weeks, your new penis will be ready. You now have two penises; one attached to your body, and one sentient and superior in every way. Try the latter one out on a woman. If you are a nice person, you should probably try it out on the woman who donated her precious spit. However, this should only be done if you are still romantically involved with this person. If you are not, try the penis out on an alcoholed stranger.

9) Make another one. Make several. Most men have ten.

10) 8==============D