Tuesday, December 1, 2009

All-Natural Penis Enlargement

My wife, Suzie Cocksuck, is a professional at dick-fucking. Most of you already know her from our website, SuzieCocksuck.cum. Here is the story of how I met Suzie.

I was once a small-dicked man. My dick was no good for fucking; no good for fucking at all. On a nice day, my little rocket stood a mere three inches. It was a terrible penis.

One day, while watching a pornographic laser disc on my home theater system, a particularly giant member appeared on the screen. Something about this member incensed me like a thousand sticks of incense dipped in fire. I turned red with rage, and took the rage out on my penis, tugging at it as hard as I could. To my surprise, it lengthened.

It was now twelve inches long and mighty. I almost had a heart attack from how turned on I was staring at it. I quickly ran out of the room and out the front door in search of fuck.

The first lady I saw was Suzie Cocksuck. She was walking a dog no bigger than a dog, and was completely naked. Her breasts were perky; each of her nipples pointed at the sky like conjoined twins admiring constellations. Her pussy was as slimy and hairy as a guido. I was in love.

My dick became an erection and her vaginae became a mission. I jumped her and began porking her before she even knew what was happening. We fucked for months on that damn sidewalk. When I finally came, my sperm all had beards and jobs. It was truly an epic session of penising.

Wiping cum off of her with a nearby supermarket circular, I asked her to marry me. She said yes, and from that day on, we have been fucking on camera for the entire world wide web. I'm fucking her right now, even. Try and stop me.

Tom "Dick" Cuntfuck, C.P.A.

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