Thursday, June 4, 2009

Cocktown: A Proposal

Ladies and gentlemen,

Thank you for coming to my speech. You are much appreciated members of society. I commend you for that. I commend you.

(Pause for applause)

I bring you here today to discuss a new idea for our town. A new direction; a change for all ages. The future is coming and we can do nothing to stop it. We can get on the train or we can not get on the train. I propose we get on the train.

The best way to get on the future train would be to redo our whole town. Extravagant! You might say. Costly! You might say. It is all of these things. But it is the only way to a sure future for our town.

Let us knock down entire buildings all over town. Let us build, instead of new buildings, fully operational giant cocks in their place, equal to their size. These cocks will belong to giants that are buried underneath the ground. We will feed the giants through food tunnels, and keep their cocks constantly stimulated and erect by paying women to kiss the cocks 24/7.

Thank you for your time,
John F. Kennedy Jr.

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